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Let these funny Perpetual Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The fact that I exist is a perpetual surprise.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The whole commerce between master and slave
is a perpetual exercise of the most boisterous passions,
the most unremitting despotism on the one part,
and degrading submissions on the other.
Our children see this, and learn to imitate it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
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Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan
Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein
It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace
only by preparing for war.
- John F. Kennedy
Now there is one outstanding important fact regarding spaceship earth,
and that is that no instruction book came with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
It is a fact that cannot be denied:
the wickedness of others becomes our own wickedness
because it kindles something evil in our own hearts.
- Carl Jung
Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius
To say that authority, whether secular or religious,
supplies no ground for morality
is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
- Joseph Addison
Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James
The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
Every known fact in natural science was divined
by the presentiment of somebody,
before it was actually verified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability
of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
- Henry David Thoreau
Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates
Patience is a form of wisdom.
It demonstrates that we understand and accept
the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage
which in the past has been brought to public life
is not as likely to insist upon or regard
that quality in its chosen leaders today -
and in fact we have forgotten.
- John F. Kennedy
He didn't come out of my belly, but my God,
I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal,
and how he sleeps,
and the fact that he swims like a fish
because I took him to the ocean.
I'm so proud of all those things.
But he is my biggest pride.
- John Lennon
Fix reason firmly in her seat,
and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion.
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one,
he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blindfolded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
All the Buddhas of all the ages have been
telling you a very simple fact:
Be - don't try to become.
Within these two words, be and becoming,
your whole life is contained.
Being is enlightenment, becoming is ignorance.
- Osho
The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born -
that there is a genetic factor to leadership.
This myth asserts that people simply either
have certain charismatic qualities or not.
That's nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true.
Leaders are made rather than born.
- Warren G. Bennis
The mind exists in time, in fact the mind is time;
it exists in the past and the future.
And remember, time consists of only two tenses,
the past and the future.
The present is not part of time,
the present is part of eternity.
- Osho
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me
and 90% how I react to it.
- Charles R. Swindoll
Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.
Every appearance in nature corresponds to some state of the mind,
and that state of the mind can only be described
by presenting that natural appearance as its picture.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My share of the work may be limited,
but the fact that it is work makes it precious.
- Helen Keller
It is a fact often observed,
that men have written good verses
under the inspiration of passion,
who cannot write well under other circumstances.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Memory diffuses fact.
- Diane Sawyer
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill.
It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...
we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll
Every fact is related on one side to sensation,
and, on the other, to morals.
The game of thought is, on the appearance
of one of these two sides,
to find the other: given the upper, to find the under side.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.