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Let these funny Mohammed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I believe in God, but not as one thing,
not as an old man in the sky.
I believe that what people call God
is something in all of us.
I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha
and all the rest said was right.
It's just that the translations have gone wrong.
- John Lennon
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
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I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead
We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Reality doesn't impress me.
I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,
and when ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another.
No more walls.
- Anais Nin
It is done to you as you believe.
- Ernest Holmes
I'm not religious at all,
but I believe in God very strongly.
- Bono
If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau
I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing
was to add to the sum of accurate information in the world.
- Margaret Mead
I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J
The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I don't believe that imagining is enough.
- Bono
I believe that a man is the strongest soldier
for daring to die unarmed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes
Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank
The probability that we may fail
in the struggle ought not to deter us
from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
- Abraham Lincoln
Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha
Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your life becomes what you believe.
- Jewel
As you discover your daily good,
and believe in it, and think about it,
expect it to continue.
- Ernest Holmes
I do not believe in immortality of the individual,
and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern
with no superhuman authority behind it.
- Albert Einstein
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
I don't believe in wishful thinking.
- Bono
Stand often in the company of dreamers.
They believe you can achieve impossible things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Shallow men believe in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you believe that a task will be difficult, it will be -
and you will have suffered with worry beforehand.
Approach life with joy and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
- Theodore Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.