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Let these funny Jealous Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
He that is jealous is not in love.
- Saint Augustine
The jealous are troublesome to others,
but a torment to themselves.
- William Penn
Wisdom I know is social.
She seeks her fellows.
But Beauty is jealous,
and illy bears the presence of a rival.
- Thomas Jefferson
No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -
unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
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I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
to the third and fourth generations.
- Exodus 20:5
We are composed of self-contradictions.
Each of us is loving in some moments - hateful in others.
Patient and calm sometimes - harried by urgency at others.
Understanding - and self-absorbed.
Reassuring - and sarcastic.
Generous - and greedy.
Trusting - and jealous.
Comforting - and snappish.
Original - and stuck in a rut.
Thankful - and needy.
Forgiving - and vengeful.
Nurturing ourself - and stuffing ourself with fast food.
Honoring our bodies - and overstressing.
Being Joyful - and Suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A loving relationship is one in which
the loved one is free to be himself -
to laugh with me, but never at me;
to cry with me, but never because of me;
to love life, to love himself,
to love being loved.
Such a relationship is based upon freedom
and can never grow in a jealous heart.
- Leo F. Buscaglia
"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jealousy is a child of selfishness and distrust.
- Mourning Dove
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is,
a dissatisfaction with self.
- Joan Didion
Love without jealousy. Love without need.
Let love be an unconditional gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am the master of my emotions -
I transform fear to love, anger to compassion,
pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance,
expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
- William Shakespeare
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
You shall not covet your neighbor's house;
you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
- Exodus 20:17
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiveness is an act of self-love and respect.
- don Miguel Ruiz
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect,
and the absence of ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary
Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I sail the seas of life as the MASTER of my ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda
If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter
We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
The man who is dissatisfied with himself, what can he do?
- Henry David Thoreau
He who lives in harmony with himself
lives in harmony with the universe.
- Marcus Aurelius
Make the most of yourself,
for that is all there is of you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not a genius.
I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
To travel is to take a journey into yourself.
- Danny Kaye
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.
- Winston Churchill
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.