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Let these funny Impulses Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
All these primary impulses,
not easily described in words,
are the springs of man's actions.
- Albert Einstein
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller 
Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom
understand that the impulse to blame
something or someone is foolishness,
that there is nothing to be gained in blaming,
whether it be others or oneself.
- Epictetus
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Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln
Free will is not the liberty to do whatever one likes,
but the power of doing whatever one sees ought to be done,
even in the very face of otherwise overwhelming impulse.
There lies freedom, indeed.
- Anonymous
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett
If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
Fear always springs from ignorance.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greater our knowledge increases
the more our ignorance unfolds.
- John F. Kennedy
At the root of all the harm we cause is ignorance.
- Pema Chodron
Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates
Misunderstanding arising from ignorance breeds fear,
and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace.
- Lester B. Pearson
Uncertainty that comes from knowledge
(knowing what you don't know)
is different from uncertainty coming from ignorance.
- Isaac Asimov
The truth is incontrovertible,
malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it,
but in the end; there it is.
- Winston Churchill
Ignorance is preferable to error,
and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing
than he who believes what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
- Confucius
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Ignorance and bungling with love
are better than wisdom and skill without.
- Henry David Thoreau
True friendship can afford true knowledge.
It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
- Henry David Thoreau
Be - don't try to become.
Being is enlightenment, becoming is ignorance.
- Osho
The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.
- John F. Kennedy
Where there is charity and wisdom,
there is neither fear nor ignorance.
- St. Francis of Assisi
We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.
- Titus Livius
Truth is by nature self-evident.
As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance
that surround it, it shines clear.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is
the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill
Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw
Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -
it is the illusion of knowledge.
- Daniel J. Boorstin
Envy comes from people's ignorance of,
or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
- Jean Vanier
All the Buddhas of all the ages have been
telling you a very simple fact:
Be - don't try to become.
Within these two words, be and becoming,
your whole life is contained.
Being is enlightenment, becoming is ignorance.
- Osho
Life is an organic whole. The basic problems of the people -
poverty, ignorance, disease and civic inertia - interlock.
To address one problem, we must address all.
Hence our emphasis on an integrated program
of livelihood, education, health and self-government.
- Jimmy Yen
There comes a time in every man's education
when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance,
that imitation is suicide,
that he must take himself for better or for worse as his portion.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If the children are untaught,
their ignorance and vices will in future life
cost us much dearer in their consequences
than it would have done in their
correction by a good education.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller
Blinding ignorance does mislead us.
Oh Wretched mortals, open your eyes!
- Leonardo da Vinci
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.