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Let these funny Humiliation Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting
some false and most pernicious notions about consistency -
and to such a degree that the average man has
turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around
and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized,
where it should be his humiliation.
- Mark Twain
If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
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She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
One never notices what has been done;
one can only see what remains to be done.
- Marie Curie
The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein
The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A faith that hasn't been tested can't be trusted.
- Adrian Rogers
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot
Your innermost core has always been pure.
Purity is intrinsic to you,
it cannot be taken away.
- Osho
What is a weed? A plant whose virtues
have never been discovered.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Grace has been defined as the outward expression
of the inward harmony of the soul.
- William Hazlitt
All life is change.
Release your attachment to the way things have been,
and wend your way joyfully
through life's unfolding majesty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill
But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Re-examine all that you have been told...
dismiss that which insults your soul.
- Walt Whitman
One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir
On the ordinary view of each species
having been independently created,
we gain no scientific explanation.
- Charles Darwin
It is useless for us to attempt to reason a man
out of a thing he has never been reasoned into.
- Jonathan Swift
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
When we quarrel, how we wish we had been blameless.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield
An "always been" does not mean I must choose "what must be."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If the tongue had not been framed for articulation,
man would still be a beast in the forest.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
God, as Truth, has been for me a treasure beyond price.
May He be so to every one of us.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud
To have done anything just for money
is to have been truly idle.
- Henry David Thoreau
Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige
Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying
when there seemed to be no hope at all.
- Dale Carnegie
For once you have tasted flight
you will walk the earth
with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been
and there you will long to return.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The highest thinkers of the ages,
the seers of the tribes and the nations,
have been optimists.
- Helen Keller
Footprints in the sand...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Pay attention.
Don't let resentments or pessimism answer for you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche
that must have been left behind in the Sixties,
that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
- John Lennon
I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau
My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson
Time has been transformed, and we have changed;
it has advanced and set us in motion;
it has unveiled its face,
inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.
- Khalil Gibran
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.