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Let these funny Exception Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter
I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy
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Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill
There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill
The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie
You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
There is nothing permanent except change.
- Heraclitus
No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim
When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon
Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates
I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie
Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James
The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow
Most of us seldom let the outrageous
part of ourselves out to play.
Notice that I didn't say "never," I said "seldom."
Halloween is one of those exceptions.
While there are certainly many "bah humbug" houses on our street,
more than half the houses wear an acknowledgement of Halloween -
and nothing about Halloween is NOT outrageous.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.