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Let these funny Andrew J. Holmes Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
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A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward
The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim
Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional
Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous
Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde
Rights that do not flow from duty
well performed are not worth having.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony
To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling
One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir
No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau
Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Have the will to be well, to be happy, and to live in joy.
- Ernest Holmes
Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato
I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln
Resistance to the organized mass can be effected only
by the man who is as well organized
in his individuality as the mass itself.
- Carl Jung
Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin
The interests of a nation, when well understood,
will be found to coincide with their moral duties.
- Thomas Jefferson
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw
When the well's dry, we know the worth of water.
- Benjamin Franklin
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread.
- John Muir
Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson
A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous
A house is not a home unless it
contains food and fire
for the mind as well as the body.
- Benjamin Franklin
Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
See God in every person, place, and thing,
and all will be well in your world.
- Louise L. Hay
Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.
- Lao Tzu
Treat the earth well,
It was not given to you by your parents,
It was loaned to you by your children.
- Native American Proverb
The well-timed question is more impacting than an answer.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill
Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire
So confident am I in the intentions,
as well as wisdom, of the government,
that I shall always be satisfied that what is not done,
either cannot, or ought not to be done.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is not enough to have a good mind,
the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes
Every actual State is corrupt.
Good men must not obey laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha
How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.