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Let these funny Elegant Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants,
and to serve them one's self?
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
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There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Anything that costs you more hours of effort or worry
than it brings you hours of enjoyment
is a candidate for downsizing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung
People will do anything, no matter how absurd,
to avoid facing their own souls.
- Carl Jung
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar
Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong
Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin
We cannot change anything until we accept it.
- Carl Jung
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller
One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing
The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm
but because of those who look at it without doing anything.
- Albert Einstein
If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You can do anything you put your mind to.
- Anonymous
The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart
If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You cannot teach a man anything;
you can only help him find it within himself.
- Galileo Galilei
Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything.
- Billy Graham
I am an optimist.
It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill
There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough preparation -
veneer isn't worth anything.
- George Washington Carver
You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton
Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution.
That must be maintained, for it is
the only safeguard of our liberties.
- Abraham Lincoln
I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill
Bold, Wild, and Colorful -
Why Be Anything Less?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can have anything you want in life if you
just help enough other people get what they want.
- Zig Ziglar
Don't be against anything -
e.g. don't be against war, be FOR peace
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.
- George Washington Carver
Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi
We can do anything we want to
if we stick to it long enough.
- Helen Keller
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
No house should ever be on a hill or on anything.
It should be of the hill. Belonging to it.
Hill and house should live together
each the happier for the other.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill
Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw
You go against yourself when you
judge or blame yourself for anything
- don Miguel Ruiz
Do what nobody else can do for you.
Omit to do anything else.
- Henry David Thoreau
Never do anything against conscience
even if the state demands it.
- Albert Einstein
You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- James Allen
To have done anything just for money
is to have been truly idle.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man is truly ethical only when he obeys
the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist,
and shrinks from injuring anything that lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful,
for beauty is God's handwriting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anything Is Possible.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.