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Let these funny Descend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
To write is to descend, to excavate, to go underground.
- Anais Nin
Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped,
probably arboreal in its habits.
- Charles Darwin
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow
We will not walk in fear, one of another.
We are not descended from fearful men,
Not from men who feared to write, to speak,
To associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
This is no time... to keep silent.
- Edward R. Murrow
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Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.