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Let these funny Bestsellers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In all of his bestsellers, the Divine has told the truth,
custom-tailored to the comprehension of the times.
- Ernest Holmes
Divine love will meet all human needs
- Mary Baker Eddy
All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates
Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi
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Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius
The Divine is all in the perspective we take on it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each and every human being on Earth
has both the responsibility and the privilege
of viewing themselves as Divine beings
with the power to bring about peace.
- James Twyman
The Divine Plan is one of Freedom.
The inherent nature of man is ever seeking
to express itself in terms of freedom,
because freedom is the birthright of every living soul.
- Ernest Holmes
The more a man can forget, the greater the number
of metamorphoses which his life can undergo,
the more he can remember, the more divine his life becomes.
- Soren Kierkegaard
To err is human, to forgive divine.
- Alexander Pope
It takes discipline and compassion
to awaken the divine in ourselves long enough
to recognize the divine in another.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi
I view the Divine and All of Life
from the perspective of Celebration.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered.
He consists only of one quality: witnessing.
This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality.
Witness that you are not the body.
Witness that you are not the mind.
Witness that you are only a witness.
As the witnessing deepens,
you start becoming drunk with the divine.
That is what is called ecstasy.
- Osho
The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend.
I have no wealth to bestow on him.
If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward.
Is not friendship divine in this?
- Henry David Thoreau
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912
Namaste is a greeting of unity and acceptance
that recognizes the equality of all,
and pays honor to the sacredness of interconnection.
The sense of Namaste is
"The God in me greets the God in you,
I bow to the divine in you."
While saying Namaste, press the palms of the hands together
in front of the heart and bow the head slightly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.