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Let these funny Acquaintances Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made
that didn't work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn't meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the "wrong" spouse or the "wrong" career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.
- Rabindranath Tagore
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Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
It is not length of life, but depth of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.
- Bono
You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar
Compassion, in which all ethics must take root,
can only attain its full breadth and depth
if it embraces all living creatures
and does not limit itself to mankind.
- Albert Schweitzer
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel
Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung
Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis
Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle
Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes
Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have,
you will never, ever have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who would ever think that so much went on
in the soul of a young girl?
- Anne Frank
Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton
The Divine Plan is one of Freedom.
The inherent nature of man is ever seeking
to express itself in terms of freedom,
because freedom is the birthright of every living soul.
- Ernest Holmes
The present is the ever moving shadow
that divides yesterday from tomorrow.
In that lies hope.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung
Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa
People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard
No man will ever carry out of the Presidency
the reputation which carried him into it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw
The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives
is to think we work for anybody but ourselves.
- Brian Tracy
No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
- Thomas Jefferson
If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus
One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir
No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right;
a single experiment can prove me wrong.
- Albert Einstein
In the eternity of all creation,
I am the only ME that ever will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.