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Let these funny Readily Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
BUILD UP YOUR CIRCLE....
A mind that perceives
What can rationally be.
A spirit that sees
Innovative possibility.
A heart that is open to
Both beginnings and ends.
A firm hand that fits readily
To the reach of a friend.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
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Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We are always getting ready to live but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
If we will be quiet and ready enough,
we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
- Henry David Thoreau
We never see what we are not ready to see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am ready and willing to seize the opportunities life offers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
- Buddhist Proverb
When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau
When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready
for his opportunity when it comes.
- Benjamin Disraeli
I have ready access to a power beyond my wildest imagination.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
It's one of life's great paradoxes ...
Accepting with gratitude whatever life throws at us
is critical to happiness.
Yet without a goal and commitment, life lose much of its value.
The best we can do in the face of this paradox
is to play to win, but be cheerful in defeat
and ready to play again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is also something excellent in every audience,
the capacity of virtue.
They are ready to be beatified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man lives freely only by his readiness to die, if need be,
at the hands of his brother, never by killing him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.