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Let these funny Pervert Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller
We the people are the rightful masters
of both Congress and the courts,
not to overthrow the Constitution
but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.
- Abraham Lincoln
Experience hath shown, that even
under the best forms of government,
those entrusted with power have,
in time, and by slow operations,
perverted it into tyranny.
- Thomas Jefferson
I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford
Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning
I'm not a genius.
I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Only through experience of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared,
ambition inspired, and success achieved.
- Helen Keller
Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko
Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Story is a sacred visualization,
a way of echoing experience.
- Terry Tempest Williams
We Learn...
10% of what we read,
20% of what we hear,
30% of what we see,
50% of what we see and hear,
70% of what we discuss,
80% of what we experience,
95% of what we teach others.
- William Glasser
If what Proust says is true,
that happiness is the absence of fever,
then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever
for knowledge, experience, and creation.
- Anais Nin
Heaven is within us, and we experience it
to the degree that we become conscious of it.
- Ernest Holmes
Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins
The only source of knowledge is experience.
- Albert Einstein
Experience is the best teacher.
- Proverb
If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison
People grow through experience
if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If you wish to experience peace,
provide peace for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
True learning is not about facts,
but about conscious appreciation
of the experience of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I adore the human experience
- Jewel
My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Every thought has a consequence.
And every experience has a causative thought behind it.
- Ernest Holmes
Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard
We deem those happy, who from the experience of life
have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- Carl Jung
It is important to expect nothing,
to take every experience,
including the negative ones,
as merely steps on the path,
and to proceed.
- Ram Dass
It was the experience of mystery -
even if mixed with fear -
that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Experience does not err.
Only your judgments err by expecting from her
what is not in her power.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller
What I recognized is that you can't put it together.
It's already together, and what you have to do
is experience it being together.
- Werner Erhard
Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter
everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe
that change forever how we experience life and the world.
- John Milton
Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho
He who is persistent will realize God.
So try your best to make meditation
a regular experience in your life.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Never, never and never again shall it be
that this beautiful land will again experience
the oppression of one by another.
- Nelson Mandela
Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Learn to become still. And to take your attention
away from what you don't want, and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith
I left the "eye for an eye" God
when I walked out of Bible school,
but God Within is a daily part of my personal experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin
A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I don't have to have faith, I have experience.
- Joseph Campbell
Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford
Unwearied ceaseless effort is the price that must be paid
for turning faith into a rich infallible experience.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come,
not of booky teaching, but of experience.
- Mark Twain
Follow that will and that way
which experience confirms to be your own.
- Carl Jung
Experience demands that man is
the only animal which devours his own kind,
for I can apply no milder term to
the general prey of the rich on the poor.
- Thomas Jefferson
Never "for the sake of peace and quiet"
deny your own experience or convictions.
- Dag Hammarskjold
The marvelous richness of human experience
would lose something of rewarding joy
if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful
if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller
I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
That person did the very best they could,
given the knowledge, emotions, and prior experience
they had to draw upon at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The experience of democracy is like
the experience of life itself -
always changing, infinite in its variety,
sometimes turbulent
and all the more valuable
for having been tested by adversity.
- Jimmy Carter
Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected
in a cosmic religion for the future:
It transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology;
it covers both the natural and the spiritual,
and it is based on a religious sense
aspiring from the experience of all things,
natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.