Funny Outcome Quotes - Funny Quotes about Outcome

Funny Outcome Quotes
Funny Quotes about Outcome

Let these funny Outcome Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Be clear with yourself about what you mean
in conversations with others, and especially with yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus

One movement toward light becomes a clear signpost on a long road.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The purpose is clear. It is safety with solvency.
The country is entitled to both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower {political}

Truth is by nature self-evident.
As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance
that surround it, it shines clear.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To keep the body in good health is a duty...
otherwise we shall not be able
to keep our mind strong and clear.
- The Buddha

Your visions will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung

Smiling away your troubles requires
a clear conscience that harbors no insincerity.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

When love and hate are both absent
everything becomes clear and undisguised.
- Osho

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas

Be clear that expectations are demands.
Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer
is a sure path to disappointment and suffering.
Happiness lies in having no expectations,
and accepting life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Open your mind, open your heart,
and the way to joy becomes clear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The things that have acquired unity are these:
Heaven by unity has become clear;
Earth by unity has become steady;
The Spirit by unity has become spiritual;
The Valley by unity has become full;
All things by unity have come into existence.
- Lao Tzu

The River of Life flows without emotion.
The River surges. The River quiets.
The River overflows its banks. The River dries to a trickle.
The River swirls and storms. The River becomes calm.
The River runs clear. The River runs dark with silt.
The River is indifferent to what benefit
or what harm is caused by its water.
The River is the River, and that is all there is to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mind can never be intelligent - only no-mind is intelligent.
Only no-mind is original and radical.
Only no-mind is revolutionary - revolution in action.
The mind gives you a sort of stupor.
Burdened by the memories of the past,
burdened by the projections of the future,
you go on living - at the minimum.
You dont live at the maximum.
Your flame remains very dim.
Once you start dropping thoughts,
the dust that you have collected in the past,
the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young.
Your whole life becomes a flame,
and a flame without any smoke.
That is what awareness is.
- Osho

There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren

See beauty in those unexpected places.
(she asked herself how people could let Bach be background noise.)
See the opportunity in what looks like inconvenience.
(she steered clear of the traffic jam
and went to the bakery she's been meaning to stop at.)
She embraces the undeclared possibility
in what seems like just another ordinary day.
(her friend is scheduled for cancer surgery
and suddenly everything around her seems so very precious.)
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw

Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes

Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is change. Without change, there is no life.
Why then do we so fight against change?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams
than the imagination when awake?
- Leonardo da Vinci

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Always question WHY you are doing something.
Is it a free-will gift or an obligation?
That which is done out of a feeling of obligation
is unworkable as a substitute for a gift.
Obligation creates a feeling of resentment on your part,
and evokes resentment rather than gratitude
on the part of the recipient.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The reason why men do not obey us,
is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be Prepared."
"Be prepared for what?"
"Why, for any old thing."
- Robert Baden-Powell,
the founder of Scouting.
[as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook]

Choose to See Beauty and Joy:
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton

Instead of worrying about what people say of you,
why not spend time trying to accomplish
something they will admire.
- Dale Carnegie

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Outcome