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Let these funny Jam Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
See beauty in those unexpected places.
(she asked herself how people could let Bach be background noise.)
See the opportunity in what looks like inconvenience.
(she steered clear of the traffic jam
and went to the bakery she's been meaning to stop at.)
She embraces the undeclared possibility
in what seems like just another ordinary day.
(her friend is scheduled for cancer surgery
and suddenly everything around her seems so very precious.)
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
I will act as if what I do makes a difference.
- William James
Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean
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Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James
The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James
Each and every human being on Earth
has both the responsibility and the privilege
of viewing themselves as Divine beings
with the power to bring about peace.
- James Twyman
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Friendship without self-interest
is one of the rare and beautiful things in life.
- James Francis Byrnes
Change your thoughts, change your life.
- James Allen
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.
- James Allen
Friendship that flows from the heart
cannot be frozen by adversity,
as the water that flows from the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
- James Fenimore Cooper
Honor bespeaks worth. Confidence begets trust.
Service brings satisfaction.
Cooperation proves the quality of leadership.
- James Cash Penney
Circumstance does not make the man: it reveals him to himself.
- James Allen
Let us not look back in anger
or forward in fear,
but around in awareness.
- James Thurber
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
He who would accomplish much must sacrifice much.
- James Allen
The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James
Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman
Life is a long lesson in humility.
- James M. Barrie
Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Serve them
Plan with them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have.
- Jimmy Yen (Y. C. James Yen)
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
You will become as small as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
- James Allen
You are today where your thoughts have brought.
- James Allen
You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- James Allen
A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James
Whenever you're in conflict with someone,
there is one factor that can make the difference
between damaging your relationship and deepening it.
That factor is attitude.
- William James
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
- James Joyce
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
The right mixture of caring and not caring -
I suppose that's what love is.
- James Hilton
What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14
This overcoming of all the usual barriers
between the individual and the Absolute
is the great mystic achievement.
In mystic states we both become one with the Absolute
and we become aware of our oneness.
This is the everlasting and triumphant mystical tradition,
hardly altered by differences of clime or creed.
- William James
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.