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Let these funny Entering Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Open the gates and roll out the red carpet,
for I am entering the kingdom of peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
- Joseph Campbell 
Doubt is the vestibule which we all must pass through
before we can enter the temple of truth.
- Osho
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Only free men can negotiate;
prisoners cannot enter into contracts.
Your freedom and mine cannot be separated.
- Nelson Mandela
You may be always victorious if
you will never enter into any contest
where the issue does not wholly depend upon yourself.
- Epictetus
By having a reverence for life,
we enter into a spiritual relation with the world.
By practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.
- Albert Schweitzer
Friendship is but another name for an alliance
with the follies and the misfortunes of others.
Our own share of miseries is sufficient:
why enter then as volunteers into those of another?
- Thomas Jefferson
God enters by a private door into each individual.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes
The world is a better place because I am here;
the energy that I radiate into this world
is a gift beyond my own understanding.
Through ME, an all encompassing Love enters this world;
and I am profoundly grateful that the Powers of Light
have chosen ME to be a conduit for Infinite Love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side
which he never shows to anybody.
- Mark Twain
Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss,
you'll land among the stars.
- Les Brown
Yeah we all shine on, like the moon,
and the stars, and the sun.
- John Lennon
Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.
- The Buddha
In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy
The youth gets together his materials
to build a bridge to the moon,
or, perchance, a palace or temple on the earth,
and, at length, the middle-aged man
concludes to build a woodshed with them.
- Henry David Thoreau
When I admire the wonders of a sunset
or the beauty of the moon,
my soul expands in the worship of the creator.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We need to find God, and he cannot
be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass-
grows in silence; see the stars,
the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
- Mother Teresa
We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.