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Let these funny Decline Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
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Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
Dreams pass into the reality of action.
From the actions stems the dream again;
and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.
- Anais Nin
And you would accept the seasons of your heart
just as you have always accepted
that seasons pass over your fields
and you would watch with serenity
through the winters of your grief.
- Khalil Gibran
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
We cling to our own point of view,
as though everything depended on it.
Yet our opinions have no permanence;
like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.
- Zhuangzi
Wonder what opportunities you pass, unwittingly,
because your hands are so busy clasping
what you think you have always known.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Doubt is the vestibule which we all must pass through
before we can enter the temple of truth.
- Osho
Look closely... See with new eyes...
Don't just pass by what is familiar without a thought.
Pay attention and look closely.
There is beauty - there is discovery -
there in a whole new world hiding
beneath the face of the familiar.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not seek to bring things to pass
in accordance with your wishes,
but wish for them as they are,
and you will find them.
- Epictetus
A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
its loveliness increases;
it will never pass into nothingness.
- John Keats
A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson
What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent
will not pass until there is
an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus
I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any good therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that I can show to my fellow-creature,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
- William Penn
A great gift requires two people,
the giver and the receiver.
Think of a football pass -
skillfully catching the pass, the gift,
is fully as important, and difficult, as throwing it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea,
at the long courses of rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves without wondering.
- St. Augustine
Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show
by what road it will pass to destruction,
to wit: by consolidation of power first,
and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
- Thomas Jefferson
Old friends pass away, new friends appear.
It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives.
The important thing is to make it meaningful:
a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
A man is a god in ruins.
When men are innocent, life shall be longer,
and shall pass into the immortal,
as gently as we awake from dreams.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.