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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Coming Quotes
Funny Quotes about Coming

Let these funny Coming Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

I feel coming on a strange disease - humility.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope


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If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
- Carl Jung

We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

The True Path is the path on which
there is no coming and no going.
- Traditional Zen Koan

Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
- Henry Ford

Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

Everyone is a mirror image of yourself -
your own thinking coming back at you.
- Byron Katie

Uncertainty that comes from knowledge
(knowing what you don't know)
is different from uncertainty coming from ignorance.
- Isaac Asimov

Imagination is everything.
It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
- Albert Einstein

If the mind wants to comprehend reality,
it will have to come out of the past and the future.
But coming out of the past and the future,
it is no longer the mind at all.
Hence the insistence of all the great masters of the world
that the door to reality is no-mind.
- Osho

Of all that is good, sublimity is supreme.
Succeeding is the coming together of all that is beautiful.
Furtherance is the agreement of all that is just.
Perseverance is the foundation of all actions.
- Lao Tzu

New Year's eve is like every other night;
there is no pause in the march of the universe,
no breathless moment of silence among created things
that the passage of another twelve months may be noted;
and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening
that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
- Hamilton Wright Mabie

Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind,
going and coming like ourselves,
traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day,
and through space heaven knows how fast and far!
- John Muir

We should live our lives as though
Christ were coming this afternoon.
- Jimmy Carter

The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon

The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

Take the initiative - don't wait for life to come to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
- Howard Thurman

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer

We come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
- Angelina Jolie

Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch

The WAY is Not The Way for You,
Unless You Come With an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)

I must uphold my ideals,
for perhaps the time will come
when I shall be able to carry them out.
- Anne Frank

The sun WILL come up tomorrow.
- Anonymous

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

My greatest Power and my greatest Inner Peace come
when I Intend my future, and when I avoid Expecting it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you're totally illiterate and living on one dollar a day,
the benefits of globalization never come to you.
- Jimmy Carter

From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous

I come with an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig

We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor

When I Come To The Edge of the Familiar,
I Spread My Wings and Fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Come to the edge
We can't. We're afraid
We can't. We will fall. Come to the edge
And they came. And he pushed them
And they flew
- Guillaume Apollinaire

If you build it, he will come.
- the movie Field of Dreams

Strength does not come from winning.
Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll

As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez

We may have all come on different ships,
but we're in the same boat now.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

An invasion of armies can be resisted,
but not an idea whose time has come.
- Victor Hugo


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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