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Let these funny Constructive Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive
and potentially orderly and constructive.
- Margaret Mead
You must not under any pretense allow
your mind to dwell on any thought
that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.
- Emmet Fox
TIME is poisonous construct of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
TIME is yet another poisonous construct
of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
The bulk of the world's knowledge is an imaginary construction.
- Helen Keller
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra
Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson
Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One movement toward light becomes a clear signpost on a long road.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There is a road from the eye to heart
that does not go through the intellect.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Impart as much as you can of your spiritual being
to those who are on the road with you,
and accept as something precious
what comes back to you from them.
- Albert Schweitzer
The best road to progress is freedom's road.
- John F. Kennedy
Choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love,
selflessness, and kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The road to freedom lies not through
mysteries or occult performances,
but through the intelligent use
of natural forces and laws.
- Ernest Holmes
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung
All you have to do is look straight and see the road,
and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk.
- Ayn Rand
A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.
- Anonymous
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Celebrate! Celebration is an expression of Gratitude.
Gratitude is like the prayer, while
Celebration is the hymn and sacred dance.
Celebration is its own road to happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
- J. R. R. Tolkien
Walk on road, hmmm?
Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe.
Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.
Here, karate, same thing.
Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no."
You karate do "guess so," squish just like grape. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
May the road rise up to meet you,
may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face
and the rain fall softly on your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
- Irish Blessing
One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show
by what road it will pass to destruction,
to wit: by consolidation of power first,
and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
- Thomas Jefferson
To be idle is a short road to death
and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle,
wise people are diligent.
- The Buddha
Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.