Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Alliances Quotes
Funny Quotes about Alliances

Let these funny Alliances Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations;
entangling alliances with none.
- Thomas Jefferson

Commerce with all nations,
alliance with none,
should be our motto.
- Thomas Jefferson

Friendship is but another name for an alliance
with the follies and the misfortunes of others.
Our own share of miseries is sufficient:
why enter then as volunteers into those of another?
- Thomas Jefferson

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
- Thomas Jefferson


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Let us seek to invoke the wonders of science ...
explore the stars, conquer the deserts,
eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths,
and encourage the arts and commerce.
- John F. Kennedy

The whole commerce between master and slave
is a perpetual exercise of the most boisterous passions,
the most unremitting despotism on the one part,
and degrading submissions on the other.
Our children see this, and learn to imitate it.
- Thomas Jefferson

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields


 

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Mark Twain

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa

If you want to feel rich,
just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
- Anonymous

Never spend your money before you have earned it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Do not hire a man who does your work for money,
but him who does it for love of it.
- Henry David Thoreau

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

Do what you love and the money will follow.
- Marsha Sinetar

I think the person who takes a job in order to live -
that is to say, for the money -
has turned himself into a slave.
- Joseph Campbell

A nation that continues year after year
to spend more money on military defense
than on programs of social uplift
is approaching spiritual doom.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The glow of one warm thought
is to me worth more than money.
- Thomas Jefferson

Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you
to reach the heights of your capabilities
or make the money that you want
without becoming very good at it.
- Brian Tracy

Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.
- Henry David Thoreau

Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Money won't create success,
the freedom to make it will.
- Nelson Mandela

Business, you know, may bring money,
but friendship hardly ever does.
- Jane Austen

Maturity is the ability to do a job
whether or not you are supervised,
to carry money without spending it,
and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
- Ann Landers

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler

Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To have done anything just for money
is to have been truly idle.
- Henry David Thoreau

Money has never made man happy, nor will it,
there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.
The more of it one has the more one wants.
- Benjamin Franklin

I sincerely believe that banking establishments
are more dangerous than standing armies,
and that the principle of spending money
to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding,
is but swindling futurity on a large scale.
- Thomas Jefferson

The moment you become miserly you are closed
to the basic phenomenon of life: expansion, sharing.
The moment you start clinging to things,
you have missed the target.
Because things are not the target,
you, your innermost being, is the target -
not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you;
not much money, but a rich you;
not many things, but an open being,
available to millions of things.
- Osho

Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love,
of kindness, of understanding, of peace.
Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God -
the rest will be given.
- Mother Teresa

For some of us, the world appears to provide
only a fixed quantity of each resource -
a limited amount of food, of money,
of love, of success, of appreciation.
For others, life is unlimited.
Their world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that they contribute.
In this world-view, money that is spent
or given away returns multiplied.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa

We need less posturing and more genuine charisma.
Charisma was originally a religious term,
meaning "of the spirit" or "inspired."
It's about letting God's light shine through us.
It's about a sparkle in people that money can't buy.
It's an invisible energy with visible effects.
To let go, to just love, is not to fade into the wallpaper.
Quite the contrary, it's when we truly become bright.
We're letting our own light shine.
- Marianne Williamson

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill.
It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...
we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll

Life is unlimited.
Your world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that you contribute.
Money that is spent or given away returns multiplied.
The more love that is given, the more love returns.
The more a helping hand is given, the more hands
are strengthened and empowered to help.
We can help each other to all be winners.
We can all have food, and jobs, and love, and happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root,
and it may be that he who bestows the largest amount
of time and money on the needy
is doing the most by his mode of life
to produce that misery
which he strives in vain to relieve.
- Henry David Thoreau

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

He who is contented is rich.
- Lao Tzu

The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have.
- Yiddish Proverb

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor,
it cannot save the few who are rich.
- John F. Kennedy

Experience demands that man is
the only animal which devours his own kind,
for I can apply no milder term to
the general prey of the rich on the poor.
- Thomas Jefferson

Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike.
Each has their suffering.
Some suffer too much, others too little.
- The Buddha

That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.
- Henry David Thoreau

Let my soul smile through my heart
and my heart smile through my eyes,
that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Unwearied ceaseless effort is the price that must be paid
for turning faith into a rich infallible experience.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


Thank you for visiting: Funny Alliances Quotes - Funny Quotes about Alliances.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.