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Let these funny Administrations Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Unlike presidential administrations,
problems rarely have terminal dates.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I desire so to conduct the affairs
of this administration that, if at the end...
I have lost every other friend on earth,
I shall at least have one friend left,
and that friend shall be down inside of me.
- Abraham Lincoln
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost 
I can't stand a naked light bulb.
- the movie A Streetcar Named Desire
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Once you know yourself as a genuine seeker,
and when your own inner chamber is quite enlightened,
then comes the natural unfoldment of pure love and compassion
and a genuine desire to serve others.
- Rod Stryker
I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Mystery creates wonder, and wonder is the basis
of man's desire to understand.
- Neil Armstrong
I desire to love myself as I truly am -
and to live courageously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony.
Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace.
- Rumi
Freedom from desire leads to inner peace.
- Lao-Tzu
You will become as small as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
- James Allen
The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor
to be what you desire to appear.
- Socrates
Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous
The size of your success is measured by
the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;
and how you handle disappointment along the way.
- Robert Kiyosaki
Freedom is not procured by a full
enjoyment of what is desired,
but by controlling the desire.
- Epictetus
The starting point of all achievement is desire.
- Napoleon Hill
Above all, do not lose your desire to walk.
Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being
and walk away from every illness.
I have walked myself into my best thoughts,
and I know of no thought so burdensome
that one cannot walk away from it.
- Soren Kierkegaard
You can have anything you want -
if you want it badly enough.
You can be anything you want to be,
do anything you set out to accomplish
if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let today be a day to trust your own inner guidance,
a day to have faith that your steps are carrying you
in the direction you desire,
a day to keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No greater thing is created suddenly,
any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig.
If you tell me that you desire a fig,
I answer you that there must be time.
Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
- Epictetus
It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers,
but for powers equal to our tasks,
to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door
of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.
- Helen Keller
To be a beneficial presence in the world,
cultivate a conscious awareness of your unity with Spirit.
Expect good in your own life.
Desire good for all others as well.
See and affirm abundant blessings of peace,
health, and plenty for everyone.
Align your thoughts with peace and happiness,
and realize that these qualities are your true nature.
- Kathy Juline
Today is what life is all about.
When I desire for the future to arrive quickly,
I become unable to savor today.
I can't live in tomorrow, and when I focus
all my energies on the future, I shortchange today.
Likewise, fearing the future emasculates today,
leaving it dry and lifeless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do feuds ever end?
Only when both sides shake hands,
and agree that there is no winner, no loser,
only people who have wearied of fighting
and desire to live in peace.
For many years, Northern Ireland was locked
in a murderous and seemingly unending feud.
The key to ending the feud was a shared commitment
that peace was more important than vengeance.
That is always the choice to be made.
The organizers of an April 10, 2009
joint Protestant-Catholic commemoration
of the Northern Ireland dead,
comprised of members of the once-outlawed Sinn Fein
as well as their once-avowed enemies,
referred to, "the terrible, random nature
of death in war and civil conflict."
Some lessons have been learned, many more remain.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
The desire of gold is not for gold.
It is for the means of freedom and benefit.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.