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Let these funny Accidental Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper
A weak man is just by accident.
A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead
Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Victory has a thousand fathers,
but defeat is an orphan.
- John F. Kennedy
Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln
I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
to the third and fourth generations.
- Exodus 20:5
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
Confidence is half of victory.
- Yiddish Proverb
How could man rejoice in victory
and delight in the slaughter of men?
- Lao Tzu
There is no victory at bargain basement prices.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort.
Full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Deserve Victory.
- Terry Goodkind
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy
If you seek truth, you will not seek
victory by dishonorable means,
and if you find truth, you will become invincible.
- Epictetus
Victory belongs to the most persevering.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment,
full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The habit of persistence is the habit of victory.
- Herbert Kaufman
It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha
To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life always rides in strength to victory,
not through internationalism...
but only through the direct responsibility of the individual.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
Far better is it to dare mighty things,
to win glorious triumphs,
even though chequered by failure,
than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in the grey twilight
that knows not victory or defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt
It is better to lead from behind
and to put others in front,
especially when you celebrate victory
when nice things occur.
You take the front line when there is danger.
Then people will appreciate your leadership.
- Nelson Mandela
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
The greatest and most important problems of life
are all fundamentally insoluble.
They can never be solved but only outgrown.
- Carl Jung
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
Problems cannot be solved at the same level
of awareness that created them.
- Albert Einstein
Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment,
and learn again to exercise his will - his personal responsibility
in the realm of faith and morals.
- Albert Schweitzer
Walking is good for solving problems -
it's like the feet are little psychiatrists.
- Pepper Giardino
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
- Henry Kaiser
The basic problems facing the world today
are not susceptible to a military solution.
- John F. Kennedy
We cannot solve our problems with the same
thinking we used when we created them.
- Albert Einstein
Happiness is not the absence of problems,
but the willingness to deal with them joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein
Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Today's problems can seldom be solved using yesterday's answers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Intellectuals solve problems,
geniuses prevent them.
- Albert Einstein
It's not that I'm so smart,
it's just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert Einstein
The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead
To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein
People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi
Unlike presidential administrations,
problems rarely have terminal dates.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The new rage is to say that the government
is the cause of all our problems,
and if only we had no government, we'd have no problems.
I can tell you, that contradicts
evidence, history, and common sense.
- William J. Clinton
I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa,
whereby its leaders combine in their efforts
to solve the problems of this continent.
I dream of our vast deserts, of our forests,
of all our great wildernesses.
- Nelson Mandela
Life is an organic whole. The basic problems of the people -
poverty, ignorance, disease and civic inertia - interlock.
To address one problem, we must address all.
Hence our emphasis on an integrated program
of livelihood, education, health and self-government.
- Jimmy Yen
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears!
The magic feather was just a gag!
You can fly! Honest, you can!
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the movie Dumbo
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.