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A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.