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Funny Quotes about Life
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May love and laughter light your days,
by Blessing

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours.
- Irish Blessing

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

May your right hand always be
stretched out in friendship, never in want.
- Irish Blessing


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May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
a moonbeam to charm you,
a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you.
Laughter to you.
Faithful friends near you.
And whenever you pray,
Heaven to hear you.
- Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face
and the rain fall softly on your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
- Irish Blessing

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous


 

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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