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Let these funny Wildernesses Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa,
whereby its leaders combine in their efforts
to solve the problems of this continent.
I dream of our vast deserts, of our forests,
of all our great wildernesses.
- Nelson Mandela
Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl:
it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling.
- Henry David Thoreau
You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda
The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
- John Muir
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In wilderness is the preservation of the world.
- Henry David Thoreau
To the lover of wilderness,
Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.
- John Muir
Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
And Wilderness is Paradise enow.
- Omar Khayyam
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
The healthy man does not torture others -
generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
- Carl Jung
Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
The most successful people in life
are generally those who have the best information.
- Benjamin Disraeli
My compassionate intents are generally received clearly
and acted upon - perhaps not immediately,
or in exactly the way I hope -
but acted upon favorably, nonetheless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion.
- Soren Kierkegaard
An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes.
- Thomas Jefferson
Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
People generally complain about only two things:
when they have less than yesterday,
and when they have less than their neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Enlighten the people generally,
and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind
will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.
- Thomas Jefferson
Truth always rests with the minority,
and the minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion,
while the strength of a majority is illusory,
formed by the gangs who have no opinion -
and who, therefore, in the next instant
(when it is evident that the minority is the stronger)
assume its opinion... while truth again reverts to a new minority.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.