Funny Timing Quotes - Funny Quotes about Timing

Funny Timing Quotes
Funny Quotes about Timing

Let these funny Timing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

In many ways, it is easier to be a good giver than a good receiver.
The giver chooses the gift and the timing.
More important, societal and religious traditions
tend to elevate the status of giver and lower the status of receiver.
When the Bible (Acts 20:32-35) speaks of it being
more blessed to give than to receive,
I believe that a better translation might be
"take" rather than "receive," as the context
of that passage is "coveting."
Certainly there is nothing blessed about coveting,
stealing, begging, or demanding,
however the skill of graciously receiving a freely offered gift
is another matter entirely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is no time for ease and comfort.
It is time to dare and endure.
- Winston Churchill

A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin

It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch

Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There was a time when a man was so convinced
that the world was round
that he was determined to prove it.
- Ernest Holmes

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, a loss of power,
a sense of spiritual deadness.
- Shakti Gawain

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Timing Quotes
Funny Quotes about Timing