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Let these funny Slay Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
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A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
We are a puny and fickle folk.
Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis
The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
We cannot choose our external circumstances,
but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall
The Principal Causes of Our Suffering are
Our Past, and Our Expectations and Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
If we would guide by the light of reason
we must let our minds be bold.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
The Principal Causes of Our Suffering
are Our Expectations and Our Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Heroes act in spite of their fear,
while the rest of us act because of our fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious,
and they must be brought into connection with action.
They must be woven together.
- Anais Nin
O Captain. My Captain. our fearful trip is done.
- Walt Whitman
The man of genius inspires us with
a boundless confidence in our own powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To live a creative life
we must lose our fear of being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal,
and then leap in the dark to our success.
- Henry David Thoreau
Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
- Robert Browning
We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.