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Let these funny Singular Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is curious to observe what different
ideals of happiness people cherish,
and in what singular places they look
for this well-spring of their life.
Many look for it in the hoarding of riches,
some in the pride of power,
and others in the achievements of art and literature;
a few seek it in the exploration of their own minds,
or in search for knowledge.
- Helen Keller
I like to talk about a thing I call a "practiced pause."
Just a few moments of pausing allows me
to consider a circumstance and take stock
of what the best direction might be.
Reactions tend to rise from habit and unconsidered action.
A Response is considered and thoughtful.
My actions are my own and I am, singularly,
responsible for what I see, say, feel and exert.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Friendship is all about Mutuality,
neither Individuality nor Singularity.
- Aparna Chatterjee
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
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Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Friendship is certainly the finest balm
for the pangs of disappointed love.
- Jane Austen
Friendship based solely upon gratitude
is like a photograph; with time it fades.
- Carmen Sylva
Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin
In true friendship, one can express
anything and everything without feeling ashamed
or afraid of being rejected.
- Aparna Chatterjee
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle
True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington
It is the first law of friendship
that it has to be cultivated.
The second is to be indulgent
when the first law is neglected.
- Voltaire
We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller
If a friendship isn't comfortable, it's not a friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
However rare true love may be,
it is less so than true friendship.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
True friendship is a plant of slow growth.
- George Washington
Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach
Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.