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Let these funny Gracefully Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life is to be taken lightly
by those who wish to be happy
and by those who wish to age gracefully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman
Like a Dolphin, I am Graceful, Powerful, and Compassionate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda
The trick is not how much pain you feel -
but how much joy you feel
- Erica Jong
We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.
The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over
and let the beautiful stuff out.
- Ray Bradbury
Be not afraid of growing slowly,
be afraid only of standing still.
- Chinese Proverb
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
The false can never grow into truth by growing in power.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Our growing softness,
our increasing lack of physical fitness,
is a menace to our security.
- John F. Kennedy
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln
One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers,
but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings.
The curriculum is so much necessary raw material,
but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant
and for the soul of the child.
- Carl Jung
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.