Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Life doesn't play favorites.
- Anonymous
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous
I love my attitude problem.
- Anonymous
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
The light at the end of the tunnel
may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous
Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.
- Anonymous
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
- Anonymous
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
Talk doesn't cook rice.
- Chinese Proverb
Computers happen.
- Anonymous
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
Thank you for visiting: Life doesn't play favorites. ... by Anonymous.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.