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Let these funny Norman Schwarzkoff Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
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If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers
The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde 
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In a controversy, the instant we feel anger
we have already ceased striving for the truth,
and have begun striving for ourselves.
- The Buddha
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
There is no truth, only human opinion.
- Anonymous
Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth.
- Publius Cornelius Tacitus
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes
God is, even though the whole world deny him.
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In all of his bestsellers, the Divine has told the truth,
custom-tailored to the comprehension of the times.
- Ernest Holmes
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
It's essential to tell the truth at all times.
This will reduce life's pain.
Lying distorts reality.
All forms of distorted thinking must be corrected.
- John Bradshaw
A lie travels round the world while
truth is putting her boots on.
- French Proverb
(also attributed to Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and others)
If you have found your truth within yourself
there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
- Osho
My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Beyond a doubt, truth bears the same relation
to falsehood as light to darkness.
- Leonardo da Vinci
If you wish to see the truth,
then hold no opinion for or against.
- Osho
Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
About most subjects, there is not "The Truth;"
there is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
The pursuit of truth does not permit violence on one's opponent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius
A nation that is afraid to let its people
judge the truth and falsehood in an open market
is a nation that is afraid of its people.
- John F. Kennedy
We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791
No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.