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Let these funny Erich Segal Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney 
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
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A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie
Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi
True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
The True Surprise is that
So Many of Us have Evolved So Rapidly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo
Knowledge is happiness, because to have knowledge -
broad, deep knowledge - is to know true ends from false,
and lofty things from low.
- Helen Keller
We censor our actions, but
our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
'Tis strange - but true;
for truth is always strange;
Stranger than fiction.
- Lord Byron
There are not many things in life
so beautiful as true friendship,
and not many things more uncommon.
- Anonymous
Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein
True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Feigned courtesy is a mere shadow of true kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin -
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
True religion is real living;
living with all one's soul,
with all one's goodness and righteousness.
- Albert Einstein
Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu
A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell
Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
Be true to thyself.
- William Shakespeare
(paraphrase of Shakespeare's famous quote)
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
There is nothing true anywhere,
The true is nowhere to be seen;
If you say you see the true,
This seeing is not the true one.
- Abraham Lincoln paraphrasing Lao Tzu' Tao te Ching
True friendship can afford true knowledge.
It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
- Henry David Thoreau
A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates
Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha
A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson
Every true love song, by its very nature, is a duet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.