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Funny Weekend Quotes
Funny Quotes about Weekend

Let these funny Weekend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end,
it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
- Doug Larson

Spend some time this weekend on home improvement;
improve your attitude toward your family.
- Bo Bennett

And the insidious thing is that people will either
see a movie because it did well last weekend or won't
see it because it didn't do well.
- Meg Ryan

One of my friends went on a murder weekend...
now he is doing life for it.
- Jack Dee


 

When you're young, you should live out every weekend.
Even if you look like a scarecrow, you just gotta go!
- Jonathan Brandis

Every weekend he'd have me come down to work on Dragnet,
which by now was on television as well as radio.
- Martin Milner

When I'm shooting, really the audience I'm thinking
the hardest about is that first test screening audience
who I want to like the film and that first opening weekend audience.
- Jay Roach


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They gave me away as a prize once - a Win Tony Curtis
For A Weekend competition.
The woman who won was disappointed.
She'd hoped for second prize - a new stove.
- Tony Curtis

Well, I was born and raised in the Midwest,
in Indiana specifically, and my childhood was full of weekend movies,
you know, the Saturday and Sunday popcorn movies.
- Sydney Pollack

I would say you feel a lot more pressure at a national
tournament than a state tournament.
This is more of a fun weekend out with the guys.
The national tournament is more business.
- Mike Peters

There aren't enough days in the weekend.
- Rod Schmidt

I long for the days when grosses were not even known.
There was no weekend competition.
- Mark Rydell

Every weekend we've been trying to go out of town,
to let people know about this album.
I've been trying to host parties.
It's hard, because it's a lot of work to do both.
- Angie Martinez

I was in Kashmir last weekend.
Went to visit one of my sweaters.
- Albert Brooks

If there wasn't no fight, there wasn't no weekend.
- O. J. Simpson

Spending a weekend with Hitler would have been boring in the extreme,
although you would have had a greater certainty in coming back alive.
- Alan Bullock

In college I had a weekend gig at a restaurant,
a solo thing that was the best practice I could have ever had.
That's where I learned to coordinate my singing and my piano playing.
- Norah Jones

We, some cast members and I, even went on a weekend
trip together and spent the weekend at an inn,
because we enjoy each other's company so much,
and it was so cool.
- Victor Garber

Seeing the family is a very important part of my weekend.
- Susannah York

If I do not return to the pulpit this weekend,
millions of people will go to hell.
- Jimmy Swaggart

I don't like to be gone all weekend and at night too.
Because for 20 years, I've had children who are in school.
- Meryl Streep

I like to dance, but it's not my weekend activity.
I'm not a clubber.
- Ewan McGregor

We could play them through the week,
and then the weekend we could play the black joints.
I learned to be very versatile and learned to love it.
So it stays with me even up to now.
- Little Milton

I am still feeling my calf strain, so I have been unable to train this week.
I will again have to sit out the weekend action,
but the lads are climbing ever higher to safety.
- David Ginola

Multiplicity was a movie that tested really well.
People seeing the movie really liked it,
but then the studio couldn't market it.
We opened on a weekend with nine other films.
- Harold Ramis

Movies are not about the weekend that they're released,
and in the grand scheme of things, that's probably
the most unimportant time of a film's life.
- Quentin Tarantino

The great medical facilities are a relief for the parents,
too, who don't have to think about caring for their
young ones on their own for a weekend.
They have a great time.
- Jami Gertz

I made it about a three-day weekend so people wouldn't
have to change their clothes a lot.
We didn't have an art department; we didn't have a make-up department.
- John Sayles

I've got a stag weekend coming up and I've said I'm
not doing anything more than a few drinks.
I won't have it.
I'll go home and watch Antiques Roadshow.
- Martin Freeman

First there was the New Hampshire primary,
and we had nearly a year leading up to it.
And now, look!
Three primaries in one weekend!
How many of these things are they going to have?
- Ed Helms

When I was younger it was twice a day with a game on the weekend.
Then when I got older, three times a day everyday in
college and on the national team.
- Brandi Chastain

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is
just like being a born-again Christian.
- Artie Lange

I've been lucky enough to do a few films that will
last longer than an opening weekend and those films
are the ones I'm proud of.
- George Clooney

I owe the public a good performance,
the best I can give.
We really bust our chops on 'CHiPs' but when I go home and get a weekend off,
I want to spend it quietly, with my lady.
- Larry Wilcox

Most Sunday magazines, with the New York Times as an exception,
are kind of sleepy, weekend service vehicles to move living room products.
- David Talbot

Well, first of all, let me say that -
let me remind your viewers that I am recused from this investigation,
and what I said this weekend is not anything new.
- Alberto Gonzales

We had a party with the rest of the skaters in our
trailer and then the next day we were off to see Jimmy Carter.
And then we had the World Championships the next weekend,
so not a lot of chance to catch up.
- Eric Heiden

But it was this tough little character part that I was playing,
a very funny little guy that I invented over a weekend,
because I realized I was not contributing to the humor of this thing.
And I had to do something.
- Dabney Coleman

I went to professional men's soccer games,
the old North American soccer league at that time,
and I used to be a ticket holder with my family and family friends.
We would go every weekend and I thought it was great,
but I just thought of it as recreation,
as family fun.
- Brandi Chastain

Essentially, we can once again have the whole American
public know that any time in the weekend they need
not be alone and they don't have to sit there watching the television set -
they can turn this service on and in will come the flow.
- Pat Weaver

I'm hosting weekend retreats all over America.
It is like a 24-hour slumber party for moms.
We laugh, eat, play games, get massages,
win prizes, talk about parenting and even cry a bit.
- Lisa Whelchel

Most people live in the city and go to the country at the weekend,
and that's posh and aristocratic, but actually to live
in the country and come to London when you can't take
it any more is different.
- Damien Hirst

I'm kind of a dork.
I don't have much game.
I'm not particularly comfortable in bars or clubs.
I much prefer being home playing Scrabble,
having dinner with a couple friends,
going to see a movie,
or losing a whole weekend to Season 14 of Law and Order or The Simpsons.
- Wentworth Miller

We just said, 'Okay, you're in the movie.
Bring what you would bring for a three-day weekend
and I hope you like the way you look in it because once you're on camera,
that's your wardrobe.' But it worked;
it worked and we were very surprised.
- John Sayles

I went to my son's graduation this weekend,
and I heard a great quote I've never heard before from Albert Einstein.
It was that the greatest danger to the world is not
the bad people but it's the good people who don't speak out.
- Hamilton Jordan

Whoever would have guessed that in the land of cheap
sausages and mashed potatoes there could be such a
change which would actually bring the French from Paris
every weekend to invade Britain en masse to eat great
food and drink great wine.
- Robin Leach

I much prefer working with kids whose life could be
completely upended by a reading of a book over a weekend.
You give them a book to read - they go home and come back a changed person.
And that is so much more interesting and exciting.
- Russell Banks

That's great because I know as a teenager,
I didn't relate to a TV series where all people do
is cheerlead and drink sodas on the weekend.
So I think it'll be great if it can be seen by a few people at least.
- Caroline Dhavernas

The format of the race weekend is also very well thought out.
We have enough practice time to get the cars well set-up
and have a proper qualifying session where we can do as many laps as we like,
which is great for the drivers and spectators.
- Nigel Mansell

So, not only am I panicking over the weekend if I need to know my lines,
but also if can I get the kids to the zoo.
Can I even go to church? I was asking for certain things
that would allow me to plan my life a little better.
- Hunter Tylo

I always work the same way, starting from the beginning of the weekend,
so I know at the beginning of the race,
from all that I have analysed during the practice,
whether I will win the race or not.
- Alain Prost

To supply people for ages in camps makes no sense...
you have to rebuild that cabana that they rent out
to tourists on the weekend.
They need help getting their fields repaired and their boats repaired.
- Sam Worthington

We moved there a year ago, just as a weekend place.
Then we decided to move out of London completely.
We will eventually have to work it out a bit more,
because you can't have a little boy living with his sisters like that,
can you? But we like the idea of closeness.
- Linda McCartney

I just travel all the time.
And I was just looking at the schedules now and starting
the first week of October I will be every weekend with
somebody at tournaments through Christmas.
So it gets very difficult to just go away and not do that.
- Ivan Lendl

The weekend brought good news for our friends in the cattle industry.
At long last, Japan has taken the steps needed for
American beef to make its way back into the Japanese market.
- Randy Neugebauer

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Not for nothing is their motto TGIF -
'Thank God It's Friday.' They live for the weekends,
when they can go do what they really want to do.
- Richard Nelson Bolles

In the evenings I studied chemistry at the University of Chicago,
the weekends I helped in the family store.
- Jack Steinberger

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station.
And I was working after school and weekends.
I did the news; I did everything.
I did - played records.
- Dick Van Dyke

I saw why people died and how they died.
I saw gunshot wounds and liver failure.
It was a good learning experience, so I came regularly
on weekends and holidays.
- Michael Baden

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
- Bill Watterson

On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs
in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas
of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.
- Carrot Top

I was studying acting, going to UCLA,
selling real estate on the weekends.
- Burt Ward

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike.
If you can walk away from them, they're successful.
- Casey Stengel

Always strive to excel, but only on weekends.
- Richard Rorty

Even up here on Vancouver on the weekends,
I go work out in a studio space.
- Dule Hill

The other two things are...
well, I had a huge appetite for old black and white movies on BBC 2.
At the weekends they used to run matinees,
and the more romantic the better.
- Ewan McGregor

Be in the habit of getting up bright and early on the weekends.
Why waste such precious time in bed?
- Marilyn vos Savant

Unless it's an emergency, don't bother me after 6:00 p.m.
and on weekends.
- Merv Griffin

There's a big difference between somebody who does
acid on weekends and somebody who takes downers every day.
- Tommy Rettig


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