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Funny Sex Quotes
Funny Quotes about Sex

Let these funny Sex Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools,
but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
- Bill Cosby

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't
want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
- W. Somerset Maugham


 

Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.
- Anais Nin

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify
the trouble we take to have sex.
- Daniel S. Greenberg

The big difference between sex for money and sex for
free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
- Brendan Behan


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Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.
- Roger Kahn

I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery.
I insist on believing that some men are my equals.
- Brigid Brophy

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)

If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong

Instead of being presented with stereotypes
by age, sex, color, class, or religion,
children must have the opportunity
to learn that within each range,
some people are loathsome and some are delightful.
- Margaret Mead

You know, music is sex.
It's a sensual driving mode that affects people if
it's played a certain way.
- Dick Dale

But the point of using the number was to show that
sex was a great part of my life as basketball was a great part of my life.
That's the reason why I was single.
- Wilt Chamberlain

It'd be like what would happen if Hollywood took over porno:
'If we keep their clothes on and they didn't have sex,
we'd be able to sell it to a lot more people'.
- Rob Zombie

If you go out to dinner with someone,
you find out what they prefer in food.
We ought to be able to have a conversation to find
out what people prefer when it comes to sex.
- Betty Dodson

Sex is not only the basis of life, it is the reason for life.
- Norman Lindsay

When I moved to Seattle, I was hanging out with kids who had done drugs,
had sex a million times.
I look at them now and realize their childhood was taken away.
- Jeff Ament

Galvanised into action by the second trial,
I was determined to change Britain's archaic sex laws.
- Cynthia Payne

Being a sex symbol was rather like being a convict.
- Raquel Welch

You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle
of sex comes from the danger of sex.
You can be overpowered.
- Camille Paglia

I and others of my sex find ourselves controlled by
a form of government in the inauguration of which we had no voice.
- Victoria Woodhull

I didn't know that President Bush would endorse a constitutional
amendment banning same-sex marriage.
- Mary Cheney

I don't really remember a whole lot of sex,
drugs and rock n' roll, really.
- Bill Bruford

Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn
to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.
- Henry Ellis

I would rather have a cup of tea than sex.
- Boy George

Woman is the dominant sex.
Men have to do all sorts of stuff to prove that they
are worthy of woman's attention.
- Camille Paglia

It's very hard for a man to ask questions about sex.
The smart ones do.
- Betty Dodson

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking
to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
- Oliver Herford

The '60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap,
sex never as free, and the rock and roll never as great.
- Abbie Hoffman

All the songs we do are basically about one of three things:
booze,
sex or rock n roll.
- Bon Scott

I couldn't care less about sex unless I meet someone
who I think is wonderful.
- Kirstie Alley

Skiing is better than sex actually, because for me
a good round of sex might be seven minutes.
Skiing you can do for seven hours.
- Spalding Gray

We thought sex was free.
Sex is not free.
There's a price to be paid emotionally,
physically, even legally.
Sex isn't a casual thing.
It's a huge thing.
- William H. Macy

We'll engage in pretty extreme violence in the world but,
you know, the one thing that comes to humans as easily
as eating or breathing or sleeping,
is sex.
- Mark Ruffalo

What do I know about sex? I'm a married man.
- Tom Clancy

There's a subterranean impetus towards pornography
so powerful that half the business world is juiced
by the sort of half sex that one finds in advertisements.
- Norman Mailer

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex -
ever.
Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.
- Margaret Cho

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood,
and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women
is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
- Bertrand Russell

But, you know, sex is controversial,
it just is and it always will be.
- Liam Neeson

But then, even with sex, I'm more in the school of less is more in movies.
- Aaron Eckhart

Kids and adults have sex for many, many reasons...
Put out a question box.
- Sue Johanson

Gay sex is a veritable breeding ground for disease.
- Rod Parsley

Sex appeal is not on purpose.
- Heather Locklear

My mother wanted me to understand that as a woman I
could do pretty much whatever I wanted to,
that I didn't have to use sex or sexuality to define myself.
- Suzanne Vega

It only takes five people in black robes to determine
such crucial issues for our country as abortion,
pornography, same-sex 'marriage,' and religious liberties.
- Richard Land

I know of my sex appeal.
I know about sexuality, and I know how to use it -
tastefully,
of course.
- Rachel Bilson

The sex with Mandy was good, but it wasn't like warm apple pie.
- Wilmer Valderrama

I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy.
My sex drive is so high.
I'd rather have sex with Brian all the time than leave the house.
He doesn't mind.
- Megan Fox

I'd have to acknowledge that I have a weakness for the fairer sex -
and I hope I never get over it.
- Chuck Robb

I was originally cast to be the brains of the Enterprise.
Somehow I became The Chick.
There's a little ugly girl inside of me going 'Yay!
I'm a sex symbol!'
- Marina Sirtis

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty
percent what people think you've got.
- Sophia Loren

But, you know, there's still an argument,
there's still ten states that outlaw premarital sex,
and many more states where adultery is still outlawed and a crime.
- Liam Neeson

My first sex scene - and it was with myself.
- Judge Reinhold

Sex can still be great, even without an orgasm.
- Kristin Davis

Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell;
it demands complete abandon; if words or movements
oppose the magic of caresses,
the spell is broken.
- Simone de Beauvoir

In France, a woman may forget that she is neither young nor handsome;
for the absence of these claims to attention does not
expose her to be neglected by the male sex.
- Marguerite Gardiner

No nude scenes.
No sex-symbol parts.
I want people to recognize me for my work,
not just for being pretty.
- Robin Wright Penn

I don't want to be known as a sex symbol.
There's a great stigma that goes with that tag.
I want to be a Sam Elliott.
- Sam Elliott

Our stock in trade is raw, flailing sex.
- Al Goldstein

It won't take 40 years for opposition to same-sex marriage to dissipate.
- Mary Cheney

It is essential that we realize once and for all that
man is much more of a sex creature than a moral creature.
The former is inherent, the other is grafted on.
- Emma Goldman

I'm a heroine addict.
I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
- Mitch Hedberg

People's sex habits are as well known in Hollywood
as their political opinions,
and much less criticized.
- Ben Hecht

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life.
In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Sex is a doorway to something so powerful and mystical,
but movies usually depict it in a completely flat way.
- David Lynch

When I have sex with someone I forget who I am.
For a minute I even forget I'm human.
It's the same thing when I'm behind a camera.
I forget I exist.
- Robert Mapplethorpe

We treat sex so casually and use it for everything
but what it is-which is ultimately making another human
being with thoughts and feelings and rights.
- Lisa Kudrow

Sex is on the minds of most people, especially those
who shouldn't be having it.
- William Glasser

The rights of one sex, political and otherwise,
are the same as those of the other sex,
and this equality of rights ought to be fully recognized.
- Leland Stanford

Kissing - and I mean like, yummy, smacking kissing -
is the most delicious,
most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do,
bar none.
Better than sex, hands down.
- Drew Barrymore


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