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Funny Stressed Out Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stressed Out

Let these funny Stressed Out Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Everyone knows how much Australia means to me.
I try to get back here as much as I can,
but normally it's for work, so I'm in and out and jetlagged and stressed.
- Kylie Minogue

Don't depend on other people to be responsible for you.
Don't make yourself stressed out over nonsensical things like material things.
- Eartha Kitt

I played varsity on all of them for four years.
I'm 5'9 and that's not that tall for a center so I was a forward.
I loved playing volleyball and basketball and track I was good at,
but it stressed me out.
- Bridgette Wilson

Exercise is really important to me -
it's therapeutic.
So if I'm ever feeling tense or stressed or like I'm
about to have a meltdown,
I'll put on my iPod and head to the gym or out on a
bike ride along Lake Michigan with the girls.
- Michelle Obama


 

To achieve success, stay relaxed - not stressed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I get irritated, nervous, very tense or stressed,
but never bored.
- Catherine Deneuve


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The most important thing we stressed is that we want
those kids to be productive citizens.
- Troy Vincent

When leaders take back power, when they act as heroes and saviors,
they end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and deeply stressed.
- Margaret J. Wheatley

There are many stressed single parents who may be working
two jobs in order to keep the family together.
- C. Everett Koop

It can't be stressed enough that in order to produce great graphics,
you have to have a good product and a good client capable of making decisions.
- Primo Angeli

The more prepared I am, the more I'll be in control,
less nervous, less stressed and more focused.
- Marilu Henner

I used to say, 'There is a God-shaped hole in me.'
For a long time I stressed the absence,
the hole.
Now I find it is the shape which has become more important.
- Salman Rushdie

In my youth I stressed freedom, and in my old age I stress order.
I have made the great discovery that liberty is a product of order.
- Will Durant

I always stressed that I didn't have coaching experience,
but that I did have a deadline: June 9.
- Jurgen Klinsmann

The wrong things are predominantly stressed in the schools -
things remote from the student's experience and need.
- Anne Sullivan Macy

The important thing is to take your time and not get stressed.
- Diane von Furstenberg

Go to a place where you're not going to be stressed,
because a honeymoon itself can be a stressful thing.
- Diane von Furstenberg

I try to do a lot of research beforehand so I know
where I want to go with a scene.
I try not to get too stressed about it,
because I find that's the worst thing.
- Jennifer Connelly

The fact - not theory - that evolution has occurred
and the Darwinian theory as to how it occurred have
become so confused in popular opinion that the distinction must be stressed.
- George G. Simpson

There are a range of associated impacts related to
increasing temperatures which affect both evaporation rates and river systems,
which are already over stressed, and these will hit
farming communities and the health of crop lands.
- Peter Garrett

Churchill knew the importance of peace,
and he also knew the price of it.
Churchill finally got his voice, of course.
He stressed strategy, but it was his voice that armed
England at last with the old-fashioned moral concepts of honor and duty,
justice and mercy.
- Suzanne Fields

I have always been very calm on the outside.
I'm not too stressed now just because I'm in formula one.
For me, tomorrow will be another day whether I finish first or last.
I have to do the maximum and I cannot ask any more from myself.
- Fernando Alonso

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
- Rodney Dangerfield

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I found there was only one way to look thin:
hang out with fat people.
- Rodney Dangerfield

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

I washed a sock.
Then I put it in the dryer.
When I took it out, it was gone.
- Rod Schmidt

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
- David Lee Roth

EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

I have taken more out of alcohol
than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Watch out, I have a Magic Wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons
out of the hands of fools.
Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It's better to burn out, than to fade away.
- Neil Young

If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Poets have said that the reason to have children is
to give yourself immortality.
Immortality? Now that I have five children,
my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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