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Funny Goodnight Quotes
Funny Quotes about Goodnight

Let these funny Goodnight Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity.
That's the truth.
And on that note, I'll say goodnight.
God love you.
- Bobby Darin

Long Kiss Goodnight has a huge cult following.
They could make another version of that movie right
now and make a lot of money.
- Samuel L. Jackson

Always kiss your children goodnight,
even if they're already asleep.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

My first crush was Hayley Mills when I was a little kid in England.
I used to kiss her picture goodnight.
- Rick Springfield


 

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
- Groucho Marx

Any girl can be glamorous.
All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr


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The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any man today who returns from work,
sinks into a chair,
and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
- Bill Cosby

You know the only people who are always sure about
the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
- Bill Cosby

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he
does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
- Bill Cosby

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain

Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck

I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I know that I will never find my father in any other
man who comes into my life,
because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him.
- Halle Berry

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.
- Winston Churchill

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Any informed borrower is simply less vulnerable to fraud and abuse.
- Alan Greenspan

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am not bound for any public place,
but for ground of my own where I have planted vines and orchard trees,
and in the heat of the day climbed up into the healing shadow of the woods.
- Wendell Berry

Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark
cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there.
Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Bodybuilding is much like any other sport.
To be successful, you must dedicate yourself 100% to your training,
diet and mental approach.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.
- Bern Williams

Any appeasement of tyranny is treason.
- William Allen White

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.
- Kurt Cobain

Wisdom outweighs any wealth.
- Sophocles

One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview
with a doctor than from any human experience.
- Alice James

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
- Albert Einstein

I do not concern myself with gods and spirits
either good or evil, nor do I serve any.
- Lao Tzu

Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time.
Hatred ceases through love.
This is an unalterable law.
- The Buddha

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.
- Aristotle

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
- Helen Rowland

I'm afraid I talk a lot, too much, perhaps.
I should have been a lawyer or a college professor or a windy politician,
though I'm glad I am not any of these.
- Tom Glazer

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

I do love Italian food.
Any kind of pasta or pizza.
My new pig out food is Indian food.
I eat Indian food like three times a week.
It's so good.
- Jennifer Love Hewitt

What we actually learn, from any given set of circumstances,
determines whether we become increasingly powerless or more powerful.
- Blaine Lee

Clarke's Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke

I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket.
To me they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.
- Wallis Simpson

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

I am favor of cutting taxes under any circumstances and for any excuse,
for any reason, whenever it's possible.
- Milton Friedman

Computing is not about computers any more.
It is about living.
- Nicholas Negroponte

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

And you know, the baby boomers are getting older,
and those off the rack clothes are just not fitting right any longer,
and so, tailor-made suits are coming back into fashion.
- Amy Irving


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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