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George Gurdjieff Quotes
Funny Quotes by George Gurdjieff

Let these funny George Gurdjieff Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

A man can only attain knowledge with the help of those who possess it.
This must be understood from the very beginning.
One must learn from him who knows.
- George Gurdjieff

A man is never the same for long.
He is continually changing.
He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.
- George Gurdjieff

Without struggle, no progress and no result.
Every breaking of habit produces a change in the machine.
- George Gurdjieff

Laughter relieves us of superfluous energy,
which, if it remained unused, might become negative,
that is, poison.
Laughter is the antidote.
- George Gurdjieff


 

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields PHOTO

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin PHOTO


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In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms
of a woman without also falling into her hands.
- Jerry Lewis

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a
man is when he is a baby.
- Natalie Wood

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
- Robert Byrne

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- Jim Carrey

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

My uncle Sammy was an angry man.
He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
- Margaret Smith

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

One man's folly is another man's wife.
- Helen Rowland

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter


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