Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

George Allen, Sr. Quotes
Funny Quotes by George Allen, Sr.

Let these funny George Allen, Sr. Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

If you want to catch more fish, use more hooks.
- George Allen, Sr.

Work hard, stay positive, and get up early.
It's the best part of the day.
- George Allen, Sr.

Every time you win, you're reborn; when you lose,
you die a little.
- George Allen, Sr.

Winning is the science of being totally prepared.
- George Allen, Sr.


 

Forget the past - the future will give you plenty to worry about.
- George Allen, Sr.

The tougher the job, the greater the reward.
- George Allen, Sr.

Success is what you do with your ability.
It's how you use your talent.
- George Allen, Sr.


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


When we get to the future, I'll determine the future.
- George Allen, Sr.

Every day you waste is one you can never make up.
- George Allen, Sr.

People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding
success because they don't know when to quit.
Most men succeed because they are determined to.
- George Allen, Sr.

Try not to do too many things at once.
Know what you want, the number one thing today and tomorrow.
Persevere and get it done.
- George Allen, Sr.

Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.
- George Allen, Sr.

Persevere and get it done.
- George Allen, Sr.

The street to obscurity is paved with athletes who
can perform great feats before friendly crowds.
- George Allen, Sr.

The achiever is the only individual who is truly alive.
- George Allen, Sr.

Each of us has been put on earth with the ability to do something well.
We cheat ourselves and the world if we don't use that ability as best we can.
- George Allen, Sr.

One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn
is that for your entire life you must keep fighting
and adjusting if you hope to survive.
No matter who you are or what your position is you
must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve.
- George Allen, Sr.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill PHOTO

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999) PHOTO

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) PHOTO

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb
cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
- Dave Barry

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well,
no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job.
Depression is when you lose yours.
- Ronald Reagan

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
- Phyllis Diller

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you
hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Laurence J. Peter

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
- Joe E. Lewis

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Smoking kills.
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

California is a fine place to live -
if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
- Robert Byrne


Thank you for visiting: George Allen, Sr. Quotes - Funny Quotes by George Allen, Sr..

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.