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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Works Quotes
Funny Quotes about Works

Let these funny Works Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci


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This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

Optimism is the harmony between man's spirit
and of God pronouncing His works good.
- Helen Keller

All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy.
What right have we then to depreciate imagination.
- Carl Jung


 

Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Good works are links that form a chain of love.
- Mother Teresa

Great works are performed not by strength,
but by perseverance.
- Samuel Johnson

Love is the great miracle cure.
Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- Louise L. Hay

What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14

And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

My own gratitude list begins with health, family, friends,
and the beauty around me - from the butterflies and rainbows,
to the dolphins, to the birds, to the works produced by the human hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We may not always be aware of it, but we all create
and repeat affirmations constantly.
The problem is, we typically don't pay attention
to exactly what those affirmations are saying.
Often we go through the day giving ourselves
all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages.
We may project confidence to the world around us,
while our inner dialogue says...
I hope this works.
I am so nervous about this.
I hope I don't blow it.
Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies.
If we say, This is never going to work
... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf

I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The Artist is he who detects and applies the law
from observation of the works of Genius,
whether of man or Nature.
The Artisan is he who merely applies
the rules which others have detected.
- Henry David Thoreau

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- Proverb

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

If in our daily life we can smile,
if we can be peaceful and happy,
not only we, but everyone will profit from it.
This is the most basic kind of peace work.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily,
but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are
not glass threads or frost-work,
but the solidest thing we know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your work is to discover your world
and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
- The Buddha

Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

The price of success is hard work,
dedication to the job at hand,
and the determination that whether we win or lose,
we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
- Vince Lombardi

Surround yourself with people who
take their work seriously,
but not themselves,
those who work hard and play hard.
- Colin Powell

When nature has work to be done,
she creates a genius to do it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

Profit is a by-product of work;
happiness is its chief product.
- Henry Ford

The difference between work and play lies 100%
in the attitude of the participant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning
wondering what my intuition
will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea.
I work with it and rely on it. It's my partner.
- Jonas Salk

A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

A leader is most effective when people barely know he exists.
When his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
his troops will feel they did it themselves.
- Lao Tzu

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
- Henry Kaiser

The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers

I learned the value of hard work by working hard.
- Margaret Mead


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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