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Let these funny Wastes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,
and one who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
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Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Regret is an appalling waste of energy,
you can't build on it - it's only good for wallowing in.
- Katherine Mansfield
Regret is an appalling waste of time.
- Katherine Mansfield
It is a waste of time to be angry about my disability.
One has to get on with life and I haven't done badly.
People won't have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.
- Stephen Hawking
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy.
- Henri de Lubac
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous
Your time is limited,
so don't waste it living someone else's life.
- Steve Jobs
I hope that no American will waste his franchise
and throw away his vote
by voting either for me or against me solely
on account of my religious affiliation. It is not relevant.
- John F. Kennedy
Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
There must be a reason why some people can afford to live well.
They must have worked for it.
I only feel angry when I see waste.
When I see people throwing away things that we could use.
- Mother Teresa
I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London
Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie
Steve Jobs' Three Rules of Life ...
1. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
2. Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
3. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition -
they somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of others' opinions
drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage
to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.
- Steve Jobs
What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin
If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
- e. e. cummings
Talk not of wasted affection;
affection never was wasted.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Every moment wasted looking back
keeps us from moving forward.
- Hilary Clinton
Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
A man who views the world the same at fifty
as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life.
- Muhammad Ali
I predict future happiness for Americans
if they can prevent the government
from wasting the labors of the people
under the pretense of taking care of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
Those who have knowledge, don't predict.
Those who predict, don't have knowledge.
- Lao Tzu
While most managers spend their time attempting
to predict the future accurately -
and while that's valuable -
the best managers are able to generate a future
which was not going to happen otherwise -
that is, a future which was not predictable.
- Werner Erhard
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter
That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.