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Let these funny Voracious Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
I am bored with it all.
- Winston Churchill
Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
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For those who are bored with life,
the path to happiness almost always comes
through service to the less-fortunate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.