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Funny Useless Quotes
Funny Quotes about Useless

Let these funny Useless Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is useless for us to attempt to reason a man
out of a thing he has never been reasoned into.
- Jonathan Swift

In preparing for battle I have always found that
plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Ability without honor is useless.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson


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During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)


 

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

Moral authority is never retained by
any attempt to hold on to it.
It comes without seeking and
is retained without effort.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal,
and not in reaching it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Know that life is most joyful when you
neither attempt to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not attempt to conquer the world with force,
for force only causes resistance.
- Lao Tzu

There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter

I am still amazed at how big, how enormous
a love and mystery God is -
and how small are the minds
that attempt to corral
this life force into rules and taboos,
cults and sects.
- Bono

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
- Robert H. Schuller

"Fair" is not a useful concept.
Life is not "fair."
You can't make life "fair."
You can get angry.
You can complain about life not being "fair."
You can attempt revenge - perhaps violently.
You can inflict great suffering upon yourself
in the name of life being "unfair."
And Life is still not "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you get frustrated by some of your family,
focus on the good aspects of your relationship
and attempt to overlook the irritations.
Then give thanks for everyone who plays a part in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I honor you, Hero, for you do not play to the crowd.
You play to your own soul.
An audience of one fills the house with its appreciation and applause.
Others follow you, and may attempt to emulate you,
but that is not why you are a hero.
Fame may smile upon you, or it may not.
The world may cheer your name, or you may be the unknown warrior
who rescued comrades in battle,
or taught a young girl how to shed tears of joy.
Whatever you did, you did not do for fame.
If you had, you would not be a Hero.
You are a Hero for your bold courageous inspired action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Music and silence combine strongly
because music is done with silence,
and silence is full of music.
- Marcel Marceau

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa,
whereby its leaders combine in their efforts
to solve the problems of this continent.
I dream of our vast deserts, of our forests,
of all our great wildernesses.
- Nelson Mandela

There is always a present and extant life,
be it better or worse,
which all combine to uphold.
- Henry David Thoreau

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler

Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Goes the song, "we change, we change."
But the music is still mine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel

Music expresses that which can not be said
and on which it is impossible to be silent.
- Victor Hugo

The truest expression of a people
is in its dances and its music.
Bodies never lie.
- Agnes De Mille

Music is what feelings sound like.
- Anonymous

Music and rhythm find their way
into the secret places of the soul.
- Plato

Music can change the world because it can change people.
- Bono

Music fills the infinite between two souls.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Words make you think a thought.
Music makes you feel a feeling.
A song makes you feel a thought.
- E. Y. Harburg

The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Love is a friendship set to music.
- Joseph Campbell

Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together.
- Anais Nin

When people hear good music,
it makes them homesick for
something they never had,
and never will have.
- Edgar Watson Howe

If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau

Music takes us out of the actual
and whispers to us dim secrets
that startle our wonder as to who we are.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stirred awake by the exquisite music
of my own relentless commitment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau

Don't die with your music still inside you.
- Wayne Dyer

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
- Berthold Auerbach

There are two means of refuge
from the miseries of life:
music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
- Lao Tzu

Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter

Where words fail, music speaks.
- Hans Christian Andersen

Music is the silence between the notes.
- Claude Debussy

Without music, life would be a mistake...
I would only believe in a God who knew how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

When the music changes, so does the dance.
- African Proverb

Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius

Take a long walk alone in the woods -
leave the cellphone and music player at home.
Your whole BEing will appreciate it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Indifferent to whether your mood is grumpy or cheerful,
Nature always sings her passionate song of joyful celebration.
You can never stop the happy song of life,
so join the celebration -
sing along, dance, make love,
smile your biggest smile, and cheer on God's music.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Count your blessings. Once you realize
how valuable you are and how much you have going for you,
the smiles will return, the sun will break out,
the music will play, and you will finally
be able to move forward the life that God intended
for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
- Og Mandino

There are choirs singing in your head.
If you listen, you will hear the music.
It is the song of angels.
Pay no attention to the sounds of the world.
They are just noises, and even when
added up all together
they have no value, make no sense.
Strain to hear the song of angels.
Listen to the melody within your soul.
- Neale Donald Walsch

A "scream" is always just that -
a noise and not music.
- Carl Jung

Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
- John Lennon

If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon

Jazz is the music of the body.
- Anais Nin

Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous

The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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