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Let these funny Tub Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
A good question is never answered.
It is not a bolt to be tightened into place
but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed
toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.
- John Ciardi
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We deem those happy, who from the experience of life
have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- Carl Jung
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The greatest test of courage on earth
is to bear defeat without losing heart.
- Robert Ingersoll
The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson
Maturity is the ability to do a job
whether or not you are supervised,
to carry money without spending it,
and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
- Ann Landers
Nature will bear the closest inspection.
She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf,
and take an insect view of its plain.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have decided to stick with love.
Hate is too great a burden to bear.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden,
meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe
to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
- John F. Kennedy
All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle,
that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail,
that will to be rightful must be reasonable;
that the minority possess their equal rights,
which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.
- Thomas Jefferson
No greater thing is created suddenly,
any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig.
If you tell me that you desire a fig,
I answer you that there must be time.
Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
- Epictetus
On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)
Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken
Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne
To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein
As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar
No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein
There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers
of acting and reasoning as fear.
- Edmund Burke
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper
Happiness is a state of mind.
- Anonymous
Free-Will is the key to the prison of the mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Education is not the filling of a pail,
but the lighting of a fire.
- William Butler Yeats
Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dare to be naive.
- Buckminster Fuller
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman
The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte
The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.