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Let these funny Torch Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw
Let the word go forth from this time and place,
to friend and foe alike,
that the torch has been passed
to a new generation of Americans -
born in this century, tempered by war,
disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
- John F. Kennedy
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
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Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.