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Let these funny Timid Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda
Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller
The timid man yearns for full value and demands a tenth.
The bold man strikes for double value and compromises on par.
- Mark Twain
History does not long entrust the care of freedom
to the weak or the timid.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.