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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Til Quotes
Funny Quotes about Til

Let these funny Til Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I had forgotten how much light there is in the world,
'til you gave it back to me.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous


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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius


 

All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Don't give energy to perceived dislikes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Never give up, for that
is just the place and time
that the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Give to your relatives, and to the needy, and to travelers.
Do not squander your wealth in wantonness.
- Quran 17:26

Our world is magnificent - all of it.
Rejoice and give thanks.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths
that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly.
The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson

You can't get unless you give.
And you have to give without wanting to get.
- Theodore H. White

We make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
- Winston Churchill

Circumstances don't defeat you -
you defeat yourself when you give up.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy

The enlightened give thanks
for what most people take for granted.
- Michael Beckwith

You can give without loving,
but you can never love without giving.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Those who give, hoping to be rewarded with honor,
are not giving, they are bargaining.
- Philo

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran

Love cures people - both the ones who give it
and the ones who receive it.
- Karl A. Menninger

Never, never, never give up.
- Winston Churchill

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act
is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Your work is to discover your world
and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
- The Buddha

SPIRIT is the name we give to
the entirety of everything we can perceive
plus the entirety of everything
that is beyond our perception.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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