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Let these funny Thousand Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu (Chinese Proverb)
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
Victory has a thousand fathers,
but defeat is an orphan.
- John F. Kennedy
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root.
- Henry David Thoreau
We are asking the nations of Europe
between whom rivers of blood have flowed
to forget the feuds of a thousand years.
- Winston Churchill
One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides
To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act
is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil
and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.
- Grace Hopper
Do the difficult things while they are easy
and do the great things while they are small.
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
- Lao Tzu
Though we may know Him by a thousand names,
He is one and the same to us all.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Better than a thousand hollow words,
is one word that brings peace.
- The Buddha
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha
I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa
There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving
If you may count every drop of water in the ocean and
count every grain of sand in the sea -
multiply it by a thousand and that's how much I love you.
- George of Langkloof
If you have ten thousand regulations
you destroy all respect for the law.
- Winston Churchill
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment
and the other by acts of love. Power based on love
is a thousand times more effective and permanent
then the one derived from fear of punishment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Faith is a living and unshakable confidence,
a belief in the grace of God so assured that
a man would die a thousand deaths for its sake.
- Martin Luther
Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho
In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung
Be in peace with many,
but let one of a thousand be thy counsellor.
- Ecclesiastes 1:23
I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous
Before printing was discovered,
a century was equal to a thousand years.
- Henry David Thoreau
I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still in each new dawn.
- Traditional Native American Prayer
There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root,
and it may be that he who bestows the largest amount
of time and money on the needy
is doing the most by his mode of life
to produce that misery
which he strives in vain to relieve.
- Henry David Thoreau
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Smell is a potent wizard that transports you
across thousands of miles
and all the years you have lived.
- Helen Keller
On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
My joy is the golden sunset
giving thanks for another day.
Gratitude itself is a source of joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Give to your relatives, and to the needy, and to travelers.
Do not squander your wealth in wantonness.
- Quran 17:26
Life is given to us, we earn it by giving it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
You can never love without giving.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
I hate the giving of the hand
unless the whole man accompanies it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness... consists in giving, and in serving others.
- Henry Drummond
The giving of love is an education in itself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Remember that the happiest people
are not those getting more, but those giving more.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
For it is in giving that we receive.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Life is ever giving of Itself.
We must receive, utilize and extend the gift.
Success and prosperity are spiritual attributes
belonging to all people.
- Ernest Holmes
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others,
you should put a good deal of thought
into the happiness that you are able to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Giving is the highest expression of our power.
- Vivian Greene
You can give without loving,
but you can never love without giving.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I postpone death by living, by suffering,
by error, by risking, by giving, by loving.
- Anais Nin
Mother's love grows by giving.
- Charles Lamb
No one has ever become poor by giving.
- Anne Frank
Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love.
- Lao Tzu
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Today, I say yes to forgiving.
I commit to being for-giving love
and for-giving compassion in all areas of my life.
- Sheri Rosenthal
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.
The most certain way to succeed
is always to try just one more time.
- Thomas A. Edison
Those who give, hoping to be rewarded with honor,
are not giving, they are bargaining.
- Philo
Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous
I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
- Albert Einstein
Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it
is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
- William Arthur Ward
There is a fine line between perseverance and insanity.
At what point have you tried your best,
and it's time to do something different?
It's a balance - a paradox.
If you get in the habit of giving up
as soon as something gets difficult,
your life won't work,
but if you keep tilting at windmills -
madly trying the same thing again and again,
your life also won't work.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not paying a just wage, not giving work,
only because one is looking at the bottom line,
at the budget of the company, seeking only profit -
that is against God.
- Pope Francis
When you arise in the morning,
give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength.
Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.
- Tecumseh
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Sheri Rosenthal
When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.