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Let these funny Think Big Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer 
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
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No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono
The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind
We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
The world is more malleable than you think
and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
The grand aim of all science is to cover
the greatest number of empirical facts
by logical deduction from
the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
- Albert Einstein
If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France
I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.