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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Tests Quotes
Funny Quotes about Tests

Let these funny Tests Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

The United States strongly seeks a lasting agreement
for the discontinuance of nuclear weapons tests.
We believe that this would be an important step toward reduction
of international tensions and would open the way
to further agreement on substantial measures of disarmament.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln


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Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson


 

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
- Richard Bach

Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy
than to imprison a person
or keep him in prison because he is unpopular.
This is really the test of civilization.
- Winston Churchill

The greatest test of courage on earth
is to bear defeat without losing heart.
- Robert Ingersoll

I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem -
and that yardstick is: Is it good for America?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The perception of beauty is a moral test.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The test of all beliefs is their practical effect in life.
If it be true that optimism compels the world forward,
and pessimism retards it, then it is dangerous to
propagate a pessimistic philosophy.
- Helen Keller

Eternity:
I am drawn to the wild edge of the ocean of my being
My curiosity unbound, I test the limits
of the limitless and the boundaries of the timeless.
I walk the path - the way - the way of ways -
to the end which is not an end.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Real love is never a selfish emotion.
If you want something from someone -
especially if that something is sex -
what you are feeling is not true love.
True love is about wanting happiness for the person you love -
and not about seeking happiness for yourself.
Fortunately, in most cases our own loving presence
is the greatest gift we can give to a person we love.
Nonetheless, the litmus test of love is knowing
we would choose never to see that person again
if we believed that distance would bring them greater happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Which beliefs bring out the best in you?
Which beliefs hold you prisoner to yesterday
and limit your options for designing a great future?
Test your beliefs with as much objectivity
as you can bring to the subject.
Be willing to let go of those beliefs
that represent your parents' opinions,
or your communities opinions, rather than your own.
Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing,
should become the foundation of your being -
your reason for living.
Take action on those beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is not our place to know the mind of God.
Spirit knows what is best in the long run -
best for each of us individually,
and best for humanity as a whole.
This is often very difficult to accept
when we see war and disease in the world
and experience physical and emotional suffering
in ourselves, our family, and our friends.
I consider this belief in God's infinite power
and ultimate wisdom to be the true test of faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A faith that hasn't been tested can't be trusted.
- Adrian Rogers

Our mettle is tested by storms,
not by calm.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The experience of democracy is like
the experience of life itself -
always changing, infinite in its variety,
sometimes turbulent
and all the more valuable
for having been tested by adversity.
- Jimmy Carter

Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily.
Not to dare is to lose oneself.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

A quotation is a handy thing to have about,
saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

One defeats a fanatic precisely by not being a fanatic oneself,
but on the contrary by using one's intelligence.
- George Orwell

To be oneself is a rare thing, and a great one.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind;
it requires the same effort of the brain
that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
- Helen Keller

Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom
understand that the impulse to blame
something or someone is foolishness,
that there is nothing to be gained in blaming,
whether it be others or oneself.
- Epictetus

My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.
- Lao Tzu

One's own religion is after all
a matter between oneself
and one's Maker and no one else's.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

These are the keys to a great life...
taking oneself lightly, forgiveness, and acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The acceptance of oneself is
the essence of the whole moral problem
and the epitome of a whole outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

To know how to free oneself is nothing;
the arduous thing is to know what to do with one's freedom.
- Andre Gide

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes
is a sign of want of education.
To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun.
To accuse neither oneself nor others
shows that one's education is complete.
- Epictetus

If you are disabled, it is probably not your fault,
but it is no good blaming the world or expecting it to take pity on you.
One has to have a positive attitude
and must make the best of the situation that one finds oneself in.
If one is physically disabled,
one cannot afford to be psychologically disabled as well.
- Stephen Hawking

Don't aim at success.
The more you aim at it and make it a target,
the more you are going to miss it.
For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued;
it must ensue, and it only does so as
the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication
to a cause greater than oneself.
- Viktor E. Frankl

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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