Funny Stress Quotes - Funny Quotes about Stress

Funny Stress Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stress

Let these funny Stress Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It seems that we have it backward in our society.
We tend to look up to people
who are under a great deal of stress,
who can handle loads of stress,
and those who are under a great deal of pressure.
- Richard Carlson

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You create stress in your life by getting angry,
and you can instantly remove
that stress by granting forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

The fibers of all things have their tension
and are strained like the strings of an instrument.
- Henry David Thoreau

When we are happy and serene,
time loses its power over us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Far from idleness being the root of all evil,
it is rather the only true good.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Stress is nothing more than a
socially acceptable form of mental illness.
- Richard Carlson

You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stress is always waiting
just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out;
it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
- Robert W. Service

Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you find peace within yourself,
you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.
- Peace Pilgrim

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another
as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
- Thomas Jefferson

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

If a warrior is to succeed at anything,
the success must come gently,
with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.
- Carlos Castaneda

Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think,
and that's the time when they most need to think.
- William J. Clinton

All the suffering, stress, and addiction
comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

A sloth lives a pretty good life, s-l-o-w-l-y.
Maybe we have something to learn from him.
Some days, being sloth-like may be just what you need
to avoid being consumed by urgency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

Smile.
Today would be a wonderful day
not to take life so seriously.
Today may end up the way you prefer -
and it may not.
Happiness is not about being a winner -
it's about being gentle with life -
being gentle with yourself.
Let life be a dance,
and choose the kind of
dance you want for today -
perhaps a gentle loving dance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the situation that's causing your stress,
it's your thoughts,
and you can change that right here and now.
You can choose to be peaceful right here and now.
Peace is a choice,
and it has nothing to do with
what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

A newborn does not have worry, or stress, or anger,
because they have not yet learned those things.
Consider what life would be like if you could
forget all the past resentments and perceived offenses
that color your thinking and your emotions.
Buddhists call that state "beginner mind" -
an opening to experience life
without the jaundiced filter of past disappointments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray

Maybe life isn't really as complicated
as we make it out to be.
Perhaps a simple child-like attitude would create
a less stressful and happier life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret to a joyful life is Simplicity -
saying NO to the latest this and the most glamorous that -
saying NO to chasing an overly-demanding career -
saying NO to the stressful demands upon your time and energy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
together forever and never apart,
maybe in distance, but never in heart.
- Anonymous

Today... maybe I can take one step
on that profoundly complex path to peace.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I know how hard it is in these times to have faith.
But maybe if you could have the faith to start with,
maybe the times would change.
You could change them. Think about it. Try.
And try not to hurt each other.
- the movie Oh, God!

Have your new year's resolutions been a new beginning for you
or have they just been different words on the same old beginning?
Maybe now's the time to establish
a new pattern of viewing your life fresh.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:

Funny Stress QuotesFunny Quotes about Stress

Funny Quotes

Funny Stress Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stress